How to Make the World’s Worst Magento Site

How to Make the World’s Worst Magento Site

Andy Holland

We’ve all seen those guides on how to create a show-stopping Magento site. As a complex development platform, there are infinite possibilities and some great ways to set yourself apart from the competition. But what happens when you ignore good advice, or simply choose to create a Magneto site without following the best practices?

Surprisingly, there are plenty of webmasters and developers who follow this trend. Just take a look around the internet and you’ll soon discover some dreadful Magento sites. That said, and to make it even easier for those who like to avoid the essentials, here’s a guide on building the world’s worst Magento site.

Avoid simplicity

Magento offers a range of simple plugins and extensions designed to improve user navigation, so be sure to avoid all of those. You’ll want users to struggle as much as possible, only finding their desired page after 8 or 10 clicks. And that’s if they stay on the site long enough. Overly complex sites often lose visitors within seconds and conversions should be non-existent.

Add loads of data

Users hate nothing more than a cluttered web page. To instil some anger in visitors, add heaps of images, text and videos to all pages. Aside from creating a horrible layout, as an added bonus this overly busy page should slow page loading times.

Fill white space with adverts

Any and all white space should be utilised for adverts. Pop ups should also be scheduled to appear frequently. Both of these should frustrate the user and see your credibility take a major hit.

Make it slow

There are other Magento plugins which should be avoided when it comes to your website’s performance. Forget about all those which can improve site speed. What’s more, it’s essential to upload images which have a huge file size. Considering that most users click-away after waiting more than 8 seconds for a page to load, this should ensure remarkably speedy exits.

Use all sorts of fonts

Websites look their best when uniformity is practiced throughout – a similar use of fonts, colours and layouts for each page. As such, you’ll want to opt for the opposite approach, harnessing the use of different fonts and a kaleidoscope of colours.

Keep security to a minimum

All reputable ecommerce sites have a dedicated section on their site with the terms and conditions of their security practices. You’ll want to give this a miss. This should create uncertainty and doubt in potential customers. The checkout process can also be made worse with the use of an unknown cart software supplier.

Don’t contact us

Visibility of contact information should be kept to a minimum. Don’t add a telephone number or email address. Instead opt for a content request form that hasn’t been installed correctly. Now you’ll be none the wiser when potential customers try to get in touch.

Block comments and reviews

Finally you’ll want to stop any possibility of users leaving feedback on your site. Leave out the conventional comments box on all pages for a complete disregard of your customer’s opinion. This way, you won’t have to make improvements or act upon bad reviews.

Andy Holland

Author Andy Holland

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